My day off...

So today was the first day since Tyler got here that I haven't had to go into the Cancer center. The four days of shots were short at least, in and out pretty quick, but those shots sting a little and they make my head ache, as well as my lower jaw bone, bone pain sucks I have decided... lol.(like any pain is good) Any ways, today is my day off and what have I done with it you ask.. nothing. Hung out with the boys, slept in, cuddled with my boys (which I can't get enough of for some reason) Oh another haircut!. Teri, cut it shorter, it is really thin now, but I still don't want to "buzz" it. So I sleep alot these days, but other than that I have gotton 5 of the 7 christmas gifts done. (I will post pictures later) but I am sending off these very cute, inexpensive, homeade gifts to four different states. I hope all my Sister in laws and my mother enjoy them. I know I am enjoying mine. I acutally have to get back to it.. One more to send off tomorrow!

Treatment 3b

So we got up early and had VP-16 this morning, this PiCC line really is great, just hooked me up and got it! woohoo! then Tyler took me out for Quizno's lunch.. wonderful! and I passed out for like 3 hours.... I can't sleep enough! on the bad news thing, the neupagent(sp) shots i need to keep my blood counds up are a 4 day series and becuase insurance won't pay for it at home, i have to go into have it done- 4 days in a row!... thank goodness gas prices have gone down.

Week 3.. A

So I had my first chemo treatment this week.. and it was a VERY LONG DAY! My first appointment was at 8:00 this morning to have my PICC line put in. It is wonderful and so far I love it. She got it in on the first try. It is a catheter on the inside of my bicept and it extends up into a vein above my heart, it is like 5 feet long. The best part is there shoudn't be any more needles, they draw blood and put my chemo in through it so it will save a lot of time! From there we went to the blood draw, very easy, and then we had a while until my doctors appointment so me and Ty headed to the van for a nap, I havn't slept that good in a while. Then I went to see the doctor, saw a new fellow this time, and good news my numbers were much better. I found out that my count last week was 300 (hence, no chemo) and this week I was back to 5000. very good. but I do have to get a shot friday to keep my numbers from dropping to much again. then we went back up for chemo which was adrimycin and vinblastine again (same as week one) and then VP-16 ( a new one) which was a drip. I have to go back tomorrow for another helping of VP-16. Should be a much shorter day though. 10 hours is way to long! Oh, my potassium is low.. I need to eat more, but the rest looks great! Tomorrow will be be treatment 3B. by the way, if this doesn't make any sense, they drugged me, benedryl, I can never think strait on that stuff!

He's Here!

No not Santa... not yet!... Tyler is here with us! Woohoo, we drove over to pick him up at the airport, Kevin feel asleep on the way, but Cameron was awake and gave Tyler the best welcome ever! He grinned and smiled and said "hi". He was just plain adorable. Kevin when he finally woke up said hi Daddy and held his hand the rest of the way home and was very excited to show Daddy his room, and Daddy's room and Cambria's room.. then they played forever wrestling on the floor, I think Kevin really missed that. So we took our pictures, that lasted about 30 seconds, the kids were more interested in the plane flying by and the birdie, birdie, birdie than taking pictures.. Maybe we will try again tomorrow after Chemo.
My hair was still here this moring but then I took a shower and lets just say I have "cancer patient hair"... it is very very thin and I can't move with out strands just falling out. I think if Iwashed it tonight it would all be gone. I have heard people say that it is easier to just buzz it but for some odd reason, I really don't want to do that. They say it is more tramatic this way. Who ar "they" anyways. I think the only trama was when Kevin went to play with my hair today and a whole lot found out on his arm, he had the weirdest look on his face and asked me why it did that... Poor kid.
Tyler is actually combing my hair as I type, he thinks this is funny, watching it fall out like this..lol he says this is too time consuming. Where is the buzzer?...lol. Well we will see how long I takes for me to buzz it or just let it all fall out!

hmm...

Ok so, I am losing my hair.. and it sucks and it funny all wrapped into one. It is a funny feeling because, it is scary to loose that much hair.. you feel like you should be dying if you are loosing that much hair.. well I am not dying but I am loosing a LOT of hair. Number two, (was there a number one?) I wonder, what will I look like without hair, do I have a good shaped head, will it be lopsided or bumpy? Will I have any femininity left? or will I look like a boy? Weird questions, all becuase I clogged the shower drain with my hair. It sure is a good thing I started with a lot of hair other wise I would be bald by now. We will see if I can make it to my goal, Tuesday, I just want to have enough hair to take a family picture for our Christmas card, Tyler gets here Tuesday afternoon and has an online class before he can take pictures... so wish me luck on keeping my hair until tuesday evening! Other wise we are all wearing hats in our picture. :) (now you all want a Christmas card from us don't you!)

I am Thankful for..

My family, all of them, my parents, my in-laws, my brother, my in law siblings. The love an support that they have shown has carried me farther than I ever thought I could go.

My friends, all of them from Idaho and Washington to Oklahoma and back, your words of support have been amazing.

My life, I have been blessed with a great life, good education, strong body, the gospel, and much, much more! **A side note, I am grateful that if I was to have cancer that I got this one, there are others with higher cure rates or easier regiments of chemo or radiation, but there are much worse also.

My kids, they are my reason to keep on keepin on. Their smiles keep my spirit up and their hugs stop the world! Love you guys!

My LOVE, even from 2000 miles away that man can do things no one else can. I love you babe and miss you much.. all I have to say is this better be the longest we are ever apart! (can you promise me that much?)

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and remember to give thanks!

Week 3?... not

So we went in early today becuase I had some (what I call) severe swelling in my right knee, not knowing if it was infection, they wanted to see me before I went in for my pic line. Well it doesn't look like it infected, they don't know why it would be so swollen but when they did my blood they found... issues. My white blood count it to low to do chemo this week, Neutrapenia, it is from my first week of chemo, which I also get weeks 3,5, and 7 so it looks like I will have to give myself shots on those weeks to boost white blood cell production. Me shots?!? So good news, I don't have chemo on Christmas anymore, and I will get to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow! Bad news, I am at a higher risk for infections and chemo will last a week longer. Before we left I went and had a ultrasound of my knee to check for blood clots, none found, but I am supposed to stay off of my knee but not become imobile (i know, funny) anyways, it if funny to be at a learning hospital, my ultrasound was done by a resident learning the ropes of the ultrasound machine.... she was a lot of fun to watch find different veins and arteries...

Cameron's 9th tooth!

Cameron got his 9th tooth, right around yesterday, he has been cranky (for him- he really is one happy kid) and was drooling a lot so of course we suspected a tooth! Woohoo, it is third on the top right! 9 teeth wow!

Have you had your poisen today?

I have! and I passes out to boot!... funny, the lady (Carol) who got it on the first try last week couldn't get a vein after 3 sticks so they called in Cathy, she got it on the first try! But, I passed out while Carol was doing it and honestly it would cut down on time if they could just get a vein, so I am getting a pic line next week. It will be in my arm and hopefully save all of us a lot of hastle, time, and passing out. So far this week no side effects, it should be a good week, I just have to wach for shortness of breath and constipation, oh and the first two days I might have a high fever.. 101 or 102... Anyways, two treatments down, 6 to go.
P.S. Blemycin hurts like crazy when they inject it into your arm for a test shot.. it does not hurt in the IV.. weird.... oh and Vincrisitine sucks...becuase it messes with your nerves, especially my sciatic nerve

Much better!

So what can I report?.. I feel so much better! The nausea has subsided to a degree, I went out and went Christmas shopping for 3 hours today, just me and Cameron!.. (Kevin was at preschool) and I was apparently in the mood to spend! I am so glad I am feeling better! I can play with my kids and I don't have to take naps all day long! Yeah!... My Mom flies in tomorrow and more Chemo on Wednesday so a lot to look forward to!

Negative side effects enclosed

Ok, so I have had a few hard days, vomit, nausea and unbelievable fatigue, no appetite (this is a whole new world for me!- I don't ever remember running from a fresh pot of spaghetti before) my mouth has just started to hurt, and my lips are starting to sting, but really the hardest part is the whole not enjoying my kids thing, it seems like I sleep when they are awake and they sleep when I am awake and really I have only changed one diaper today!... ( don't get me wrong, I don't mind sharing THAT particular duty) but it really is hard that I am not the first person they run to anymore. Other than that, I no longer can watch perscription drug commercials, for some reason they have an odd effect on me, like they bring me back to reality, I am NOT healthy. Funny stuff to start crying at a rumatoid arthritis Rx drug commercial, I wish I could blame it on PMS, but alas, for once, that is not the issue.

**don't get me wrong, I am glad my kids have someone else to run to, but really what good is Mom if she can't fix the "owwee's"

WHAT?!?

So I was look through my Chemo schedule (they have me scheduled until Christmas) The two weeks I have Chemo twice in the same week are week 3 and 7... guess when that happends to be?... Christmas and Thanksgiving! That is right I have Chemo on the day before Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and Christmas!.. WHAT?!? For some reason this seems like I am being punk'd or something.. well let me tell you something Ashton... I am NOT famous!..
Good news, Tyler informed me tonight that he will be joining me and the boys a couple of weeks early.. He will get to come and STAY the week after thanksgiving.. they are going to let him teach and take his classes on line the last few weeks of the semester!.. woohoo.. even Ashton can't take that away from me!
:)

Just call me pin-cushion!

So today was my first treatment.. I am officially a cancer patient.. :) Day one down and weeks to go. I was there like all day and about to fall asleep at the wheel so I will try to make this quick. Went in had my blood drawn, had lunch while my doctor ran late.. ( apparently is is habitual with her) Went back had my doc apt and then went upstairs for chemo, I got a window set which apparently is the coveted seat.. lol. The first lady couldn't get a vein in my right arm so another lady came back a did one in the other arm, got it on the first try...woohoo! They are trying to talk me into getting a pick line, but I really don't want one. So all in all 4 stabbings occured! hence the pin cusion lead in. They got me doesd up on anti-nusea meds first thing and then proceeded to inject me with a red chemo drug,(my pee is already red) and clear one that cuases numbness in fingers and toes (My left fingers went a little numb while it went in)-"this is the one that will make your hair fall out"..."lovely" then they put me on one that is "tolerated well", which of course gave me a horrible metal taste in my mouth and that was on a drip line so it took an hour.. all in all we got there at 12:30 and didn't leave until 7:30... I am on 6 differnt Rx pills at home and am already greatful for the nausea ones becuase the taste in my mouth alone is makeing me nauseous- think pregnacy nausea. Anyways, I made it through.. didn't pass out (although I think I would have if my feet hadn't been elevated- had the ringing in my ears and the twinkly vison and everything) But I made it and now I just need to sleep (I get to take a sedative nausea pill tonight!)- For Mark who I am sure is trying to guess the drugs I have been describing, the three were, Adriamycin, Velban, Cytoxan
Oh and I found out the plan from here on out: 8 weeks of this. 2 weeks rest, 3 weeks radiation, 5 days a week, and then tests every 3 months for the next 2 years, every 6 months for the 2 years after that and then every year after that. There is the plan stan!

Cute pictures

So 600 pictures dating back to July I thought I would upload some of my favorites:

Cameron being cute.. playing with cards and eating bananas

One of our impromptu trips to Washington- Kevin and Grandpa exploring Grandpa's boat.

Grandma and the boys!

Grandpa and Cameron playing in Washington

Cameron playing in Washington

I got a hair cut!

Yep I got a haircut, below are my before and after. I figured if I was going to loose my hair I might as well take a risk and go shorter and I LOVE IT! ( i havn't had bangs in decades!)I don't want to loose my hair now! What do ya think?

The trip to California

So we had a blast on the way out to California (yes, I realize that this is over 3 weeks old but I went though my camera and had over 600 pictures so I figured I would post the cute ones from the trip)


We got to see both sides of my parents family in Denver, (top picture is my maternal grandmother, bottom picture is my paternal grandmother)

This is my great grandmother in my father's mothers side, so Cameron and Kevin are her 5th generation. She is 98!


This was us in front of a dinosaur at the Museum of nature and science in Denver. And Kevin was very intriged when he got to make a dinosaur tooth inside. (doesn't he look so well behaved in this picture)

We got to do all sorts of cool dinosaur stuff at the museum including uncovering dinosaur bones, building bigger than Kevin sized puzzles and of course being scared of the T-rex.


Maybe he'll be an archaeologist some day!


Here is Kevin and Cameron jumping on Uncle Kens trampoline (or his neighbors), we stayed two nights in Provo, but apparently only took pictures on the trampoline, instead of with all the cousins they got to visit. It was a great trip and if I had a dollar for every time someone said "it was great to see you, it would be even better if it wasn't under these circumstances" we wouldn't have ANY medical bills!

Halloween and the pumpkin patch

So I know I am late posting my Halloween pictures and we went to the pumpkin patch when we were in Oklahoma so those are even later but the pictures turned out so darn cute I have to share them.

My kids went as a tiger (third year we have used this costume) and Optimus Prime... Kevin's favorite transformer.. it was kinda funny none of the kids his age knew what he was but all the older kids did.. (especially the high schoolers)


This ward doesn't have trunk o treat so we went to a shopping district with cousins Cambria and Capri for trick or treatin,

Kevin climbed up in this tractor wheel well an was so darn cute when he said he wanted to hold baby!

Here was our family in front of this cool pumpkin at the pumpkin patch!

Cameron didn't really want to walk around in the prickly pumpkin plants so he got a ride on Granma Vicki's shoulders.

Kevin trying to find the perfect pumpkin.. he loved be able to run in a large field!

Tyler picking out his perfect pumpkin.

Cameron's baby blanket

So while my Mom was in town I got Cameron's baby blanket made (yes I understand that he is 13 months old.. he will never know that I didn't have it done for him at his birth) the great news is that it is done and that he loves it!

PEEK

A

BOO!

Is that possible?

Yep it is possible, I didn't know it could be, but it happened. I couldn't start Chemo today, because they are out of one of the drugs I need for treatment, One that starts with a V, I don't remember which one it was but it is a nation wide shortage. It was funny, I went in had my blood work done, waited in the waiting room for like 2 hours and then when through the information stage with the fellow, then when he left to go get my doctor, he came back and said there was bad news that he and Dr. Advani had just been informed that there was none of this "v" drug. So we did get great infomation about side effects, how many drugs I will be on when and stuff but no Chemo today ( I actually am more than Ok with this) They are hoping they will get more in soon, So I could start next wednesday or the wednesday after that. If I am unable to get in next week, they want to take a new PET scan (they want it within a month of when I start treatment, this delay would put me over a month) So really we are just waiting again... (Don't worry this is such a slow growing cancer that I am not in any more danger.. cure rate will still be the same next week or the week after)

Good news

Looks like the "core" sample was enough so I will be starting Chemo on Wednesday! No Biopsy needed!