I got cored!

Yep that is right.. I went in for what was supposed to be a surgical consultation on what was going to be a biopsy tomorrow. Well apparently they thought they could do a "core" to get a sample, if it works then there is no need to do surgery, the whole anesthesia, O.R., thing.. stuff that doesn't seem like fun to me anyways. So this "core-ing" thing is basically the same thing thing the did in Oklahoma the "fine needle aspirate" only they didn't use a "fine needle" they used a friggin straw!... and no I am not kidding!... I am so glad I didn't see the "corer" until they were done.. I still did manage to pass out... yep... I passed out... lol. During the first pass... he got nothing. Then he says are you willing to try again.. I asked what his odds of getting something this time would be.. "50/50".. Well I would rather try that again then have surgery, and put off chemo another week, so lets try again. nothing. So again..... hmmm. maybe from a different angle... he got a little that time. So lets try it one more time.... That time.. yes 5 times!... I got cored 5 times! we still don't know if he got enough but he thinks so, if not, I have surgery scheduled for next wednesday, with pre op the day before... yuk! atleast I get to sleep through that one. If they did get enough then they cancel that surgery and chemo goes on as planned. So that is what is going on here. passing out, more needles... atleast it leads to a good story huh? Well ya wanna see a picture of my owweee... (that is what Cameron called it when I got home, he noticed it before I got to hold him.. he said "owww, ooooo" and pointed while staring at it... cute kid)

Guilty pleasures

Jackee tagged me a while back and seem to be putting it off for some reason.. so here it is..

1. Sleeping in.. way to late
2. Napping.. (do you see a pattern here?)
3. Blogging
4. Watching old TV episodes Online (Gilmore girls, Veronica Mars...etc)
5. Reading other peoples blogs for way to long...
6. ICECREAM
7. Dried fruit
8. Chips with salsa, Fritos with dip
9. Eating food that I bought "for Tyler's lunch"
10. My parents buying something for the boys that I knew I would have had to buy anyways, therefore freeing up money for something "fun" (that sounds way worse than I thought it would)

I tag Kristi, Jen (both of you), and anyone else who cares to share...

Standford apt...

So we just got back from Standford, I have Stage 2A (favorable) hodgkins lymphoma... I will be having a biopsy next Wednesday and will start 8 weeks of chemo the next week. I will take chemo once a week except for two of the weeks I will have it twice. Chances are I will loose my hair..lol. After the chemo is over I will have radiation. I am supposed to remember that this is curable and that the goal is to have me back to as good as new by this time next year. After chemo and radiation and I am found "clean" I am considered to be in remission until it comes back, or I hit 5 years at which time I am considered "cured"... so we have a goal= 5 years. FYI, this shouldn't do anything to my fertility, but we are not supposed to get pregnant for 2 years... which was in our plans anyways... but I sure do hate it when people make my decisions for me...(stubborn, bigheaded.. I know, but really...) Anyways... that is all I we know now.. I am planing on taking a class about managing life with chemo soon, it will be good to get details like what I should and shouldn't eat and why I can't be around animals (thank goodness, for this purpose my kids are not considered animals) ... thanks for the prayers! Although the treatment won't be pretty, the unknown is the hard part!.. and now we know.

Kevin's first day of pre school

So today was Kevin's 1st day of preschool... and the teacher even said he could come back!. He was so adorable, Today was orange day and he wore an orange shirt.. (his favorite with a light up dinosaur on it).. Here are some pictures... the teacher said he asked for me, but didn't throw any big fits or anything and when I went to pick him up he showed me the picture of a pumpkin he colored and his orange project (gluing of a bunch of orange things to a piece of paper)... Him and cousin Cambria seem to enjoy it... and I have to say with his routine all messed up it will be good for him to have something to count on. Check him out!

so...

What do you think of my new background?.. I LOVE IT!!! Thanks Tammy... it's a keeper!

Woohoo!

Well for some real news... my surgeon called Stanford and found out that we have all they need to get me in the program out there... so... I have my first appointment in two weeks! I still may need a biopsy, but they will decide when I get there... so I could be having treatment in as soon as three weeks! So we are gonna leave on Monday or Tuesday and take a while to get out there... We will probably stop by and see some family in Provo (all of me and Tyler's brothers live in Provo).. and then head our way out there to get settled. Hopefully we will be back sooner than later so Tyler can get back to his PhD...

Update..

So I got the PET/CT scan done today and we heard back from the surgeon. I have cancer in my neck (duh) in a couple places and some in my chest. "some good news and some bad news" From research I have done on Hodgkins this means I have stage 2 cancer. Which is good and bad.. but here in my mind we only look at the good. This means that it is only above my diaphram, if it were above and below.. we would have even more issues... So the surgeon wanted to talk to the radiologist a bit more and is also calling Stanford to find out what else they need so I can start treatment out there. My Mom is flying in tomorrow to help me get through whatever else I need done here; another CT scan and a bioposy probly and then help me pack and drive with me and the kids out to California. (Tyler will be staying out here to finish the semester and Mom will probly be staying with me until Tyler can come out and stay in California.. his PhD is getting put on hold until this mess is under control....)
Today was ruff... in a funny sort of way.. I passed out.. yes yes.. I know... laugh your heart out.. I have low blood pressure... whatever.. I am a wuss, I get it.... It was pretty funny listening to the guy tell the other guy how he was just sitting there talking to me and all of a sudden I start "slipping out of my chair"... have I ever mentioned how I hate needles..grrr..
Anyways the hard part of the day was not being able to touch my kids... I was to keep them at arms lengths away because I was radioactive... funny, yes... for no reason was I supposed to hold them in my lap and really didn't want them to be close at all. (I had to drink lots of water and it all flushs into my urine, which is held in my bladder... hence the no kids in my lap thing....) I have to flush twice!.. is that not the funniest thing ever.... Thank heavens Tyler can be home on Tuesdays except for one class in the evening... and thank Godness for Lori who has no problem holding my children for me.. Although it was nice to get out of changing diapers for a day.. I missed holding my babies... oh and no more breastfeeding... had to give that up with all of this. Poor kid. Oh well I think he will live...(1 year and 25 lbs later.. he is healthy) Well best be going to bed.. need my sleep! Wish me luck on hearing from the doctor, so I can get to treatment faster!

Kevin cuteness..

Ok, so a while back when Kevin would wake up in the morning or from a nap I would ask.. did you sleep good?.. he always answers yeah! and then later he started asking ... mommy did you sleep good in your bed.. yeah I did.. then later on he started to ask.. did baby sleep good in his bed.. yeah he did. And just recently it is turing into a long conversation... did mommy sleep good? Did baby sleep good? did daddy sleep good? did Andrew (his best friend) sleep good? Did Lori(Andrews mommy) sleep good?... yep, they all slept good. in fact when he doesn't want to go to sleep he lets me know "but Mommy I sleep good all day!".. in other words "I can't sleep now!"

And over the past month he has started noticing the dark at night.. I have explained that it gets dark because the sun has gone to sleep (which means it is night time) and it is almost time for him to go to sleep... then the next morning he says where did the dark go and I explain... the sun woke up and now it is light outside... ver fun stage I must say... he says something new everyday and asks the cutest questions.. I think I'll keep him around! :)

Camerons 12 month pictures

Here are my two favorite collages

I refused when Kevin was little to have pictures of Kevin taken in the nude but for some reason I thought this was cute... and this tall one was cute with his eyes!

I loved these ones!

I thought this one was adorable with the cupcake mess... I totally think I will do this with the rest of my kids.. he loved it and we got some cute shots!

Come on.... he is like a model... for cake frosting(not biased am I?)

Adorable!.. I could stare at my kids all day..

You know this is why Mom's have blogs.. to show off there kids!!

Cameron 1 birthday apt

Cameron had his 1 year apt today...

he is 30 inches in length (I think he is longer

but he won't sit still) which is 50th percentile

and

he weighs 25lbs which is 75th percentile.

Update..

So, we are in the waiting game again. I went and visited the surgeon on Tuesday and he wants to have a PET/CT scan so they can see where else the cancer is. The small needle biopsy seems to have the cancer cells of Hodkins Lymphoma but they like to see a whole node with it to be sure. So this PET/CT scan is basically them shotting me with radioactive sugar and then watching how the cells in my body use them (cancer cells use sugars faster-by the way I find this stuff very interesting) So after this test we will see where else the cancer is in my body, (and be able to tell me what stage I am in) and maybe see if they want to biopsy something else. We are looking into different places to do treatment.. here, in California and in Washington- (California and Washington to see if we could stay with family so the boys will be ok while I don't feel well) My appointment for the PET/CT is next tuesday morning. So we are waiting until next tuseday to see, oh and we should have the results to that test next wednesday.